Emiko, this resonated so much with me! I find myself horrified by the habits around feeding children every time I'm back in the U.S., and appreciate the way my children are being exposed to food here. I love the newsletter, keep up the great work!
Dear Laurel, thank you! I'm so glad this resonated. I can imagine the cultural shift for you going home. I think our kids are really so lucky to get to experience both worlds and hopefully they take away the best things from both too!
This is a lovely read. Thank you. I am not a breakfast person, but the first thing I buy for a temporary kitchen pantry when we are on vacation is a big bag of Abracci cookies!
My husband also remembers getting (saltless - he's from Marche) bread sprinkled with sugar and red wine as merenda. He liked it better then than bread with ricotta and sugar on top.
Strangely, this sweet things for breakfast seems to "offend" a lot of foreigners - we were discussing it not such a long time ago with a gaggle of expats - but French people tend to eat sweet things as well so I am not too shocked by the cookies (although I am definitely going for savoury things by taste).
I think it's the best merenda ever (though I am partial to the ricotta one too!). Isn't it funny, about the sweet vs savoury breakfasts. I think because I grew up where on hand in Japan breakfast is savoury (and looks similar to lunch or dinner) and Australia where also savoury breakfasts are really loved, savoury to me feels more natural. I always get hungry shortly after eating a cornetto for breakfast, and need something else by mid-morning, it just doesn't do enough for me! :)
This is so beautifully written Emiko and powerful, especially after just having had dinner with my kids here in Australia. We always eat together but gosh you just highlighted the anxiety I felt about getting some nutrients into my youngest, which I recognise I have now been feeling all the time recently! This is not good! You couldn’t be more accurate with how different things are in Italy! While I still can’t work out how the younger kids get enough sleep, once it was explained to me that sweets (biscuits, cornetto) are eaten there in the morning as that’s when your metabolism is at its fastest and you have all day to burn off (as opposed to Australian or US where we have a big meal followed by dessert at dinner right before bed!) it just made so much sense! Anyway- I just loved reading this post, thank you for helping me to remember these great important lessons😍
Thank you Phoebe! I can say from experience that this used to be me too and I found it so stressful that I couldn't handle it anymore, and especially when Mariu stopped eating (which in itself was devastating), I was so afraid I would scare her off food forever (even worse). We had just moved back to Italy around the time she went into this phase and it took a while to adjust but when I read more about it (Bee Wilson's incredible book First Bite was the biggest eye-opener) I realised I should go with the flow more and embrace Italian way! Also I'll share this (now funny) story: Marco was a terrible eater as a child and basically lived off plasmon biscuits (they're very plain cookies given to small children) and pizza margherita literally until he was 18. When he was in primary school he was so small compared to his friends that his mother worried he wasn't getting enough nutrition and took him to the doctor who just told her, Signora, pizza is the perfect food: bread, tomato, mozzarella, he's got everything he needs! And I mean, look at him, you would never imagine he would have turned out not only ok but as passionate about food as he is! (On the sleep thing though, I'm still trying to work that one out. Mariu napped until she was 6 but Luna stopped her naps at 2. It's an every day struggle, made worse by the upcoming summer!)
What a joy to read Emiko. It's a refreshing perspective and one that resonates! You might find this a little strange, as I don't eat animal products, (which might seem like a restriction of sorts!) but I often feel that pang of disappointment hearing/reading others judge whether we should eat oil, carbs, sugar, alcohol, caffeine, white flour, etc. I eat dinner later, enjoy a big appetite, love food, embrace the joy of eating - but feel this is looked down upon, especially in Australia. And in the plant-based community. But since letting the judgement go - cooking, eating and sharing just got a whole lot better! And reading your story really helps me solidify my own truth. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Nadia, I am so glad this resonated and really appreciate your perspective. I am curious, do you think the plant-based community looks down on this because they are so heavily influenced by health and diet culture in the first place? I remember reading a very interesting chapter in Bee Wilson's book First Bite (such a brilliant and important book about how we learn to eat!) about this connection. But yes, let the judgement go! So much of traditional Italian cooking - cucina povera - is plant-based and it's a celebration of hearty, delicious, abundant produce, using what's around you and cooking it up with the family and enjoying it together. What more could you want in life?
Hi again Emiko - thank you so much for your thoughtful reply! Absolutely, a portion of the plant-based community (in particular, 'wholefood plant-based' vegans) are highly focused on food for health and disease prevention - so wholefoods are preferred. Oh that is what I love so much about cucina povera, a celebration of the hearty. Apparently my family ate mostly vegetarian in southern Italy in the 1950s, no wonder there's so many vegan friendly dishes! Beautifully said, what more can we want? :-)
Absolutely lovely. These are really something to look forward to. I don’t have children of my own, but even my personal relationships with food has grown exponentially since I first moved to Italy (I have lived in Italy on-and-off since my 20s). I hold traditions near and dear to my heart and no diet or social construct can keep me away from pasta.
When I was very little my best friend’s mother was deeply into the Health Food movement (it was the 70’s in Brooklyn) and I remember her once staring into my eyes and saying in a piercing (and ominous!) way, “do you eat to live, or live to eat?”
I was so sure my answer was wrong.
Honestly, it would be a sad world if we couldn’t have both.
(Just had bomboloni filled w crema for breakfast so 😁)
Ah the breakfast of champions! That is so funny, I had an ex who believed that food was only fuel and had no other point to it. I thought I could change him by convincing him to move to Italy with me to see that there is more to food. It was the test of a life time! So we did - and we broke up shortly after! He didn't get it. About 6 months later I met Marco :)
I love this, and miss raising my children in Italy. I am also married to an Italian (Napoli) and we lived in Puglia from the time my oldest was 2 until she was 5, she went to asilo in our little town and they would set up a long table everyday and eat together. It was my favorite part of her school experience, because they considered it part of their education, not just the quick 30 minutes that schools in the US give them to refuel. It was a time to unwind and share, even at 3!
In Australian primary schools it's even less time! The kids have 10 minutes to eat and then they can go and play - when I sent my daughter to Australian primary school for a month, she thought this was the best thing ever compared to sitting down at the long table in her Italian school and having to eat in front of her teacher things that she didn't want to touch (but she also had an awful teacher who would make the entire class applaud if she put anything in her mouth. This created a phase where she was so embarrassed to eat in front of anyone who wasn't family that she never wanted to be in that situation). But I really appreciate the long table lunch at school, everyone eating the same thing; it gives my children the opportunity to eat things (or at least prod at them but maybe once in a while try them!) I probably wouldn't offer them at home and it'll teach them later what it's like eating together at someone else's table when they've cooked something for you.
This was such a gorgeous essay. Thank you for writing it. Without wanting to romanticize Italy, I do find, from my life here in America, such a comparative lack of joy around food; emotions around food here are usually (not exclusively!) consigned to guilt and shame. Whereas I read such warmth and delight in your words here, with food as an anchor and a way of telling time throughout the day.
Thank you Sarah, this really means a lot to me! I love that idea of food as an anchor. And I'd add as something that creates good memories too. What I think it is in America (or Australia for example, but also so many other places) is that everyone is just so busy. Modern life is busy, rushed and there is barely any time left to slow down and relax (!) over a home-cooked (ha!) meal. That is so hard for most people, and especially for working parents who have been through a pandemic for two years. And there is so much noise over what is "good" for you. Meals have become fraught with guilt and they've become stressful. Italy is just years behind these countries, still caught in a place of deep set traditions and I for one am happy to welcome the old fashioned, slower way when it comes to food!
And I completely agree about American life—and particularly the precarities that so many people here face on a daily basis with minimal, if any, government support. It's something I wondered about at the beginning of the pandemic: What does it feel like to live in a country where you have free healthcare, free childcare (to some extent) and other government-supported quality of life programs? Enjoying meals, spending time with each other: it becomes a real privilege, one that I am so grateful I can have, and that I wish my country would care about.
Emiko, this resonated so much with me! I find myself horrified by the habits around feeding children every time I'm back in the U.S., and appreciate the way my children are being exposed to food here. I love the newsletter, keep up the great work!
Dear Laurel, thank you! I'm so glad this resonated. I can imagine the cultural shift for you going home. I think our kids are really so lucky to get to experience both worlds and hopefully they take away the best things from both too!
This is a lovely read. Thank you. I am not a breakfast person, but the first thing I buy for a temporary kitchen pantry when we are on vacation is a big bag of Abracci cookies!
Now that is something I have still yet to adopt but I can appreciate it!
My husband also remembers getting (saltless - he's from Marche) bread sprinkled with sugar and red wine as merenda. He liked it better then than bread with ricotta and sugar on top.
Strangely, this sweet things for breakfast seems to "offend" a lot of foreigners - we were discussing it not such a long time ago with a gaggle of expats - but French people tend to eat sweet things as well so I am not too shocked by the cookies (although I am definitely going for savoury things by taste).
I think it's the best merenda ever (though I am partial to the ricotta one too!). Isn't it funny, about the sweet vs savoury breakfasts. I think because I grew up where on hand in Japan breakfast is savoury (and looks similar to lunch or dinner) and Australia where also savoury breakfasts are really loved, savoury to me feels more natural. I always get hungry shortly after eating a cornetto for breakfast, and need something else by mid-morning, it just doesn't do enough for me! :)
Love this Emiko!
Thank you Elizabeth!
I exhaled reading this. Great piece, Emiko.
Jolene, I so appreciate this!
What a beautiful piece. Here’s to gelato after dinner and biscuits in milk for breakfast. X
Thank you Amber!
You are a beautiful, beautiful writer Emiko. I love reading your thoughts and commentary on Italy, your family, and food. Thank you.
Thank you so much for reading, I'm glad it touched you.
This is so beautifully written Emiko and powerful, especially after just having had dinner with my kids here in Australia. We always eat together but gosh you just highlighted the anxiety I felt about getting some nutrients into my youngest, which I recognise I have now been feeling all the time recently! This is not good! You couldn’t be more accurate with how different things are in Italy! While I still can’t work out how the younger kids get enough sleep, once it was explained to me that sweets (biscuits, cornetto) are eaten there in the morning as that’s when your metabolism is at its fastest and you have all day to burn off (as opposed to Australian or US where we have a big meal followed by dessert at dinner right before bed!) it just made so much sense! Anyway- I just loved reading this post, thank you for helping me to remember these great important lessons😍
Thank you Phoebe! I can say from experience that this used to be me too and I found it so stressful that I couldn't handle it anymore, and especially when Mariu stopped eating (which in itself was devastating), I was so afraid I would scare her off food forever (even worse). We had just moved back to Italy around the time she went into this phase and it took a while to adjust but when I read more about it (Bee Wilson's incredible book First Bite was the biggest eye-opener) I realised I should go with the flow more and embrace Italian way! Also I'll share this (now funny) story: Marco was a terrible eater as a child and basically lived off plasmon biscuits (they're very plain cookies given to small children) and pizza margherita literally until he was 18. When he was in primary school he was so small compared to his friends that his mother worried he wasn't getting enough nutrition and took him to the doctor who just told her, Signora, pizza is the perfect food: bread, tomato, mozzarella, he's got everything he needs! And I mean, look at him, you would never imagine he would have turned out not only ok but as passionate about food as he is! (On the sleep thing though, I'm still trying to work that one out. Mariu napped until she was 6 but Luna stopped her naps at 2. It's an every day struggle, made worse by the upcoming summer!)
What a joy to read Emiko. It's a refreshing perspective and one that resonates! You might find this a little strange, as I don't eat animal products, (which might seem like a restriction of sorts!) but I often feel that pang of disappointment hearing/reading others judge whether we should eat oil, carbs, sugar, alcohol, caffeine, white flour, etc. I eat dinner later, enjoy a big appetite, love food, embrace the joy of eating - but feel this is looked down upon, especially in Australia. And in the plant-based community. But since letting the judgement go - cooking, eating and sharing just got a whole lot better! And reading your story really helps me solidify my own truth. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Nadia, I am so glad this resonated and really appreciate your perspective. I am curious, do you think the plant-based community looks down on this because they are so heavily influenced by health and diet culture in the first place? I remember reading a very interesting chapter in Bee Wilson's book First Bite (such a brilliant and important book about how we learn to eat!) about this connection. But yes, let the judgement go! So much of traditional Italian cooking - cucina povera - is plant-based and it's a celebration of hearty, delicious, abundant produce, using what's around you and cooking it up with the family and enjoying it together. What more could you want in life?
Hi again Emiko - thank you so much for your thoughtful reply! Absolutely, a portion of the plant-based community (in particular, 'wholefood plant-based' vegans) are highly focused on food for health and disease prevention - so wholefoods are preferred. Oh that is what I love so much about cucina povera, a celebration of the hearty. Apparently my family ate mostly vegetarian in southern Italy in the 1950s, no wonder there's so many vegan friendly dishes! Beautifully said, what more can we want? :-)
Absolutely lovely. These are really something to look forward to. I don’t have children of my own, but even my personal relationships with food has grown exponentially since I first moved to Italy (I have lived in Italy on-and-off since my 20s). I hold traditions near and dear to my heart and no diet or social construct can keep me away from pasta.
Thank you for the wonderful read, Emiko.
Laura
I hear this so often from female American friends of mine who have moved to Italy! There's an article in La Cucina Italiana about how some of these women found their body image improve when they began to appreciate the way food is seen in Italy, you might like it: https://www.lacucinaitaliana.com/trends/healthy-food/american-women-share-how-living-in-italy-improved-their-body-image
What an excellent read, Emiko--thank you ❤️
When I was very little my best friend’s mother was deeply into the Health Food movement (it was the 70’s in Brooklyn) and I remember her once staring into my eyes and saying in a piercing (and ominous!) way, “do you eat to live, or live to eat?”
I was so sure my answer was wrong.
Honestly, it would be a sad world if we couldn’t have both.
(Just had bomboloni filled w crema for breakfast so 😁)
Ah the breakfast of champions! That is so funny, I had an ex who believed that food was only fuel and had no other point to it. I thought I could change him by convincing him to move to Italy with me to see that there is more to food. It was the test of a life time! So we did - and we broke up shortly after! He didn't get it. About 6 months later I met Marco :)
That was a lucky escape! 😂
I love this, and miss raising my children in Italy. I am also married to an Italian (Napoli) and we lived in Puglia from the time my oldest was 2 until she was 5, she went to asilo in our little town and they would set up a long table everyday and eat together. It was my favorite part of her school experience, because they considered it part of their education, not just the quick 30 minutes that schools in the US give them to refuel. It was a time to unwind and share, even at 3!
In Australian primary schools it's even less time! The kids have 10 minutes to eat and then they can go and play - when I sent my daughter to Australian primary school for a month, she thought this was the best thing ever compared to sitting down at the long table in her Italian school and having to eat in front of her teacher things that she didn't want to touch (but she also had an awful teacher who would make the entire class applaud if she put anything in her mouth. This created a phase where she was so embarrassed to eat in front of anyone who wasn't family that she never wanted to be in that situation). But I really appreciate the long table lunch at school, everyone eating the same thing; it gives my children the opportunity to eat things (or at least prod at them but maybe once in a while try them!) I probably wouldn't offer them at home and it'll teach them later what it's like eating together at someone else's table when they've cooked something for you.
Emiko!!! This is one of my absolute favorite pieces you have ever written! So close to my heart & so very on point!!
~rose New Jersey, USA
Dear Rose, thank you for your warm words, I love that this resonated. Here's to celebrating loving and connecting over food xx
Love it! Thank you.
Thank you Carly
Wonderful writing, pure and direct, about such an important topic! Please keep these writings coming!!
Thank you so much for your encouragement!
This was such a gorgeous essay. Thank you for writing it. Without wanting to romanticize Italy, I do find, from my life here in America, such a comparative lack of joy around food; emotions around food here are usually (not exclusively!) consigned to guilt and shame. Whereas I read such warmth and delight in your words here, with food as an anchor and a way of telling time throughout the day.
Thank you Sarah, this really means a lot to me! I love that idea of food as an anchor. And I'd add as something that creates good memories too. What I think it is in America (or Australia for example, but also so many other places) is that everyone is just so busy. Modern life is busy, rushed and there is barely any time left to slow down and relax (!) over a home-cooked (ha!) meal. That is so hard for most people, and especially for working parents who have been through a pandemic for two years. And there is so much noise over what is "good" for you. Meals have become fraught with guilt and they've become stressful. Italy is just years behind these countries, still caught in a place of deep set traditions and I for one am happy to welcome the old fashioned, slower way when it comes to food!
Ah, I only got this notification now!!
And I completely agree about American life—and particularly the precarities that so many people here face on a daily basis with minimal, if any, government support. It's something I wondered about at the beginning of the pandemic: What does it feel like to live in a country where you have free healthcare, free childcare (to some extent) and other government-supported quality of life programs? Enjoying meals, spending time with each other: it becomes a real privilege, one that I am so grateful I can have, and that I wish my country would care about.